How Ted and I became friends

A friend recently said to me, “I imagine you and Ted became close because you were both going through difficult times during the same period and by sharing your emotional vulnerability with each other you had a strong connection.”

I must admit I had never considered that, but certainly that was a factor. The other factor from my standpoint was Ted’s loving compassion that unfroze the ice in my heart. After all, I was the one that instigated the divorce from a man I had once been madly in love with. People that knew the situation wondered why I had taken so long to leave what had become an uncomfortable living arrangement. Part of me thought those original feelings could be resurrected, but meanwhile my self-esteem was shattered and I needed the ice to stay in a ‘comfy igloo’ (Ted’s words).

During this time, I saw Ted at a public function and he waved me over to join him. All he had to do was look into my eyes with sensitivity and ask how I was doing, for me to burst into tears. I shared that I was going through a divorce and felt lonely and misunderstood by everyone. He then shared how difficult it was to be parting with his beautiful home in order to move into a retirement home. His friends and family assumed he was choosing this as a new lifestyle adventure. He wondered if I needed a keyboard. I told him I didn’t but one of my promising students certainly did. His parents couldn’t afford one. A few days later I arrived with my student and his Dad, who were thrilled to get a Clavinova with weighted keys.

This was the beginning of a very close friendship that lasted for the last seven years of Ted’s life. We continued to be open and honest about every subject that came to mind. I am so grateful that I managed to scribble down some of his philosophies. I certainly never expected to write a book, with them as the focus. I had a folder of these “poems,” and didn’t know what I would do with them, even though Ted had often talked of doing something with our “project”.

In June of 2016 (over a year after Ted’s death) I took a course at Findhorne, Scotland, on the Gene Keys, facilitated by author/poet/mystic Richard Rudd. This course gave me confidence in myself. I saw that I had many talents and did not have to be limited to only being a musician. While there I got an email from a friend asking if I wanted to join a small writing group. I immediately said yes. This fabulous group, facilitated by Laura Trunkey, was the book catalyst.