This story would make an intriguing movie because it’s an unusual loving relationship between two creative, curious people that were spiraling down. There have been many plots about the older man/younger woman scenario but Ted and I were a good example of a recent study that shows how friendship is more important than family for sustaining happiness.
Chances are I wouldn’t have been as sympathetic to all that Ted was going through if I hadn’t been going through a difficult patch in my own life physically, emotionally and spiritually. When we first met I was at a stage in my life where I didn’t trust men and couldn’t see myself having a traditional relationship again. A few years later I suddenly developed radar sickness. Ted and I were both feeling life was shutting down for us but we had this friendship that made it worth waking up for. My desperate search to escape the EMF problems sent me on a spiritual journey and I would share with Ted what I was learning about energy healing, sound and meditation.
The writing we did together was a small piece of the relationship. People assume I loved Ted’s work and that’s what drew me to him. I did have an art background, in that I spent a lot of time with my cousins in Toronto. Growing up, we would often go to my uncle’s art studio (William Sherman) in Yorkville and I was fascinated by the whole lifestyle. I was moved by Bill’s watercolors from a very young age. Frankly I was not all that excited about Ted’s work for the first few years. Since Ted and I were so honest about everything, I even dared to suggest he try something different. He waved his hand, discarding that idea, and explained why this was his trademark. I am embarrassed to say that it wasn’t until he had passed on and I was writing this book, that I purchased the print that is now the cover of the book. Living with this work has been so powerful, I’m saving up for an original.
Ted was interested in anything unusual and wouldn’t hesitate to give me his opinion on many subjects. As we flailed downhill physically, and felt dreadfully depressed, we somehow managed to give each other a little strength and more interest in what lay in our future. We talked about death without fear. Death is a lonely journey but neither of us avoided discussing it. And despite the pain we encountered we managed to find the silver linings in most situations.
We all need laughter, intelligence, trust, honesty, service and a willingness to be vulnerable. I certainly got that with Ted and am so grateful I allowed him into my life.